My Week of Editing

An extract from the work this week,  from Folio 55: 4659, currently at 21% complete.


“I thought we’d escaped the Undon stuff when we moved here?” That earns me a raised eyebrow from Seraph.

“Your little group has been responsible for turning a citizen, stealing some property, and killing several operatives, including a lieutenant, and possibly a Special.” The eyebrow drops. “The Gentleman will not, cannot allow that to pass without deadly response. To do so would be to show weakness at the main table and jeopardize his own position.”

“But surely we are safe here, with all of this, with you?” I feel butterflies pull on pairs of Doctor Martens and begin stomping around within my stomach; somewhere else, deeper, darker, a universe of dismembered bodies starts to stir.

With you? I rewind my own narrative. Did I just pull this ex-killer closer to my heart?

Seraph shrugs off the direct query, instead picking up the lid and delicately sliding it into place.

“You can never be too careful,” he smiles at me, his piercing eyes now the opposite of those which had once named him, “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.”

 

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If you have enjoyed this excerpt then start the journey at the beginning, with End of a Girl, book 1 in the Folio 55 series. Click here to buy it on Amazon.

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This Wednesday only, February 14th , why not download a free copy of End of a Girl, the first book in the Folio 55 series. Enjoy the beginnings of an epic adventure with three Cumbrian girls desperate to escape the backwater Lake District town of Egremont. Told by a narrator ten years in the future, as humanity teeters on the brink of an undefined apocalypse, walk hand in hand with Molly, Beth, and Hannah as their lives tell the story of the one called “Our Lady”.

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My Week of Editing

An extract from the work this week,  from Folio 55: 4659, currently at 18% complete.


“After the apparent shock of the initial abstraction we are going to proceed sense by sense,” Magmassun described the new schedule. “Stage one, we’ll activate feeling, which is rather limited: the ST has a relatively small set of pressure sensors around its body. Stage two, we’ll activate smell; stage three hearing; finally, with stage four, we’ll bring vision online although initially limited to the human range of the electromagnetic spectrum. We’re not sure how unfamiliar wavelengths will map.”

“Sounds good to me,” the Captain replied. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Prepare for touch assumption. Three, two, one, engage.”

The room, the box, Seddons mind, if it could be called that, were suddenly filled with the oddest of sounds: a rollercoaster teen rave of gorgeous giggling. Happier than any human had ever been, more playful than a litter of kittens in a wool shop, the noise drowned its audience within its infectious delight. Moskovsky failed entirely to remove the grin from his face; Wilson looked as if he was going to start crying. Up above them, by contrast, the faces on the wall remained locked in a professional solemnity.

“Turn it down! Turn it down!” Words bubbled up between the waves of hilarity, a discordant pleading that verged on panic. “Oh my God, please turn it down.”

“Reduce feed by a factor of ten,” ordered the major. Whatever that meant, whatever action was performed, the effect was almost immediate. Sounds of pained pleasure were replaced by pearl strings of panting: long, hard, thick spheres of translucent breath. “Captain, what happened?” It took a few seconds for the answer to come, preceded by the close relative of a post-coital sigh.

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If you have enjoyed this excerpt then start the journey at the beginning, with End of a Girl, book 1 in the Folio 55 series. Click here to buy it on Amazon.

My Week of Editing

An extract from the work this week,  from Folio 55: 4659, currently at 13% complete.


“Have you had the change of mindfulness about this service job of your previous speaking?” she asks, her voice barely a notch above a state of rest. She steps to the side and indicates Molly. Quicker than lightning, he takes his opportunity and charges at the prize, his path no longer blocked. Shit!

I brace for impact. Idiot Hannah: I knew this was going to happen. I almost scream “Shoot!”, hoping that Arexx is listening, but the word catches in my throat as more fantasy begins to write itself in our presence.

Like a rolling wheel, Hannah surges forwards, then sideways, wrapping one arm around his shoulder, then almost cartwheeling over his head, a diagonal tack the momentum of which she uses to spin him around and over her own now standing form: instead of letting go, though, she directs his own juggernaut motion straight into the ground. The crack of his body smashing into the hard concrete triggers a gag reflex on my part, and then I squeal as she drops down, grabs his unconscious head, raises it up, and prepares to dash it against the floor.

 

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If you have enjoyed this excerpt then start the journey at the beginning, with End of a Girl, book 1 in the Folio 55 series. Click here to buy it on Amazon.

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This Saturday only, February 3rd , why not download a free copy of End of a Girl, the first book in the Folio 55 series. Enjoy the beginnings of an epic adventure with three Cumbrian girls desperate to escape the backwater Lake District town of Egremont. Told by a narrator ten years in the future, as humanity teeters on the brink of an undefined apocalypse, walk hand in hand with Molly, Beth, and Hannah as their lives tell the story of the one called “Our Lady”.

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Click here to download your free kindle ebook and start the journey!

My Week of Editing

An extract from the work this week,  from Folio 55: 4659, currently at 9% complete.


 

The door swings open on a small, softly lit room packed full of new sensations: colours, shapes, smells, and much more. The walls offer voice to a discordance: on one side a set of drippy watercolours offering faded images of men in robes sitting by waterfalls or walking over fragile bridges; on the other a shield set inferno of red and gold mythicality. Against those walls, on shelves and in display cases, feminine curves of the most delicate porcelain  sweep the eye away towards reflective black boxes sketched in shining yellow and spectral ribbon.

Of all this, it is the smells that win the battle for my attention. Whiffs of sweet, wafts of musk, a puff of fire, a breath of the erotic: I tingle all over at my first experience of them, impressed-amazed-shocked at the efficacy of the soggy lumpy of meat on my face responsible for the sensations.

“It’s this way,” says Jason, moving around the sofa and absentmindedly patting a golden statue of a bald fat man on the head. Perhaps it is a relative, although there doesn’t seem to be much of a resemblance. I suck in another glug of the lusciously stained atmosphere and follow him, trying to absorb as much through eyes and skin as I have  through nostrils.

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If you have enjoyed this excerpt then start the journey at the beginning, with End of a Girl, book 1 in the Folio 55 series. Click here to buy it on Amazon.

Review: The Universe in Flames trilogy by Christian Kalias

Being a self published Kindle author myself (shameless plug), I have followed Christian for some time. With a gap opening up in my reading schedule, I decided to take advantage of his generous first trilogy for 99 pence deal and experience the level of writing that comes with no money, no time, no editor, and no publisher.

My initial reaction was one of horror. Corny dialogue, derivative plots, and fast food action. What had I done?

However, given its easy read nature, I decided to persevere and in doing so, I have come to adjust my first analysis.

It is still corny and little effort is made to craft strong individual characters: any one of a number of the major protagonists could be in dialogue and it would not matter who said what as long as someone advanced the plot. As another reviewer has observed, wrinkled old Admirals would not speak in the same manner as surfer dude pilots or fiercely protective mothers. Some deeper work on the characterisations would move this work up to the next level.

The plot is derivative but I do not hold that against a novel. Someone much wiser than me once said that there are only really a dozen or so plots in modern literature; the rest is decoration. A mashup of Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5, and Farscape, to name but a few isn’t the worst crime in the world if something original is added; in the case of the Universe in Flames trilogy, that is the introduction of the ancient races based upon the Olympian, Asgardian, and other gods, but as advanced technology races rather than deities. It has been enough to keep me interested

There is certainly a lot of action, with the body count putting Tarantino to shame. BIllions die, giant spacecraft are disposed of at a rate that would make the Flood blush, and super beings kick the crap out of each other, urban landscapes, and planets with gleeful abandon. In this I believe a major problem exists: the nature of equivalent scale. Can the more normal characters really make a difference when a Fury can chop a mountain in half? Christian does manage to compartmentalise character types into matched conflict but occasionally it can go wrong. He also needs to focus on differentiating his battles otherwise they read as being yet more of the same, when all you want to do as a reader is jump to the important parts.

I would definitely recommend that the first book or two be rewritten, not the plot per se but rather making use of the author’s improvement in style, something that has become more obvious as I have journeyed into the second trilogy. There is a readable series in here; it will never be the Culture but then sometimes all we want is a little mayhem.

If you can make it past the corn, and want a space opera that isn’t too taxing intellectually but which will keep you interested, you could do a lot worse.

Nia Sinjorina,
Author of the Folio 55 series: End of a Girl & Undon now available on Amazon.

Fleecy Moss, author of the Folio 55 series (writing as Nia Sinjorina), End of a Girl & Undon now available on Amazon.